This is a picture of a sewing kit - something I got free from one of my many hotel visits. The button in question is one that used to hold my trousers up.

All I have to do is find a way of combining that needle, some of those gaily coloured threads, a button and my trousers to get a perfectly good stay-up-under-all-circumstances trouser unit, suitable for all polite occasions. The trouble is I have no idea how to sew.
I can cook, iron, seperate the lights from the darks, clean - even darn. But I've never tried sewing on a button.

My education is sadly lacking and I think I need to learn. Until then, my trousers remain firmly around my ankles.