Bankers

Dear Mr Varley,

Things I don't want from my bank:

dancing soldiers
balloons
pumping techno music
bag for life
entertainers

Things I do want from my bank:

the ratio of counter staff to entertainers to be greater than 1:8

I won't even mention lower business banking charges, help with starting a new business or the ability to set up a standing order to a foreign bank account.

Still, the free pens are nice.

Might get another one when I have to go back again, having abandoned my place in the queue earlier as it was taking so long I would have missed an appointment.

Perhaps I'll take a sharp pin to pass the time...

Lesley

EDIT - Some of you may be thinking that I have my only myself to blame if I bank with Barclays. You'd be right. So this afternoon I have taken action and I will shortly be banking with someone else. Amazing the power of a balloon. I'm guessing that would be an unintended consequence of this little marketing exercise. Amongst conversations I don't think happened in the planning meeting:

A: So that's decided - soldiers, balloons, free lemonade, loud music and free bags for life. Have I missed anything?

B: Er, I hate to be a party pooper but do you think our customers might think it's all a bit gimmiky and cynical to lure children into the bank with balloons? Or they might think this is a bit of a waste of money that is inappropriate when we are only just starting to come out of a recessions caused by the banks? Or that they might be so cross they will go home and research our investments and find out we are the biggest UK investor in the Arms Trade and that we have links with the Zimbabwean Government? And that they might move banks?

A: What are you talking about, it's just a balloon? Who doesn't love a balloon?