Our deepest fear

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.'


Marianne Williamson


The quote above was a gift from Lesley in response to a journal entry of mine where I talked about how much I struggle with my confidence and self belief. The words really struck home. I am frightened of letting my light shine and I do play small. I limit what I do because it feels safe, whilst dreaming of bigger things. It actually made me feel a little ashamed of myself and I have read it every day since.

I stopped on the way home to walk in the woods. Trees and fog go together so well and it made for a much needed quiet moment in a busy day. It was a pea-souper of a drive home and I arrived at the cottage to find the cats had peed in the utility room - next to the litter tray. Hmm. I bribed Rowan with the promise of a latte and a mini praline egg if she would walk in the woods nearby with me so I could take a few pictures. We had a really nice time together, chatting and giggling. When we returned home I made lattes for her and Sam and she made me a mug of tea. A fair exchange. Restored by my tea I went to pick up Murron from a friend's house and after some gentle coaxing (through gritted teeth) she deigned to come home with me.

It's 9.15 pm now and none of my children are in bed. Murron is pretending she can't hear me and the other two just refuse to acknowledge any imposed bed time on account of their age!

I think it's time for another mug of tea....