Alias Zsa Zsa Gabor

Unlike the bird known as Vivien Westwood (see 11th March) this bird is not actually called Zsa Zsa Gabor, she adopted it when she realised her immense beauty to replace the name Maggie Two Eyes. She has convinced her entire entourage that she is in fact from Budapest and that she went to a finishing school in Switzerland thus securing for herself an air of sophistication hitherto unattainable by common birds. However, the real truth of the matter is that her father was a Magpie from Croydon (mother, possibly a Cuckoo) and although she has none of his looks, she does have all of his traits, and lines her nest with mirrored shards.

Small earthenware plate by Kitty Shepherd, not fired.