Endings...

A beautiful end to today.

Mom was diagnosed officially diagnosed with vascular dementia fourteen months ago today but the family knew long before that. Recently we seem to have entered a new phase. She is still very miserable, doesn't want to be here, those things are more evident now than before. She is now much more aggressive with Dad, more man who is trying so hard to help her, she is much less amenable - more determined to go off and do her own thing - she walked off the other day and Dad had to follow her in the car. She phones me when she thinks things are not right and I go round and try to restore order when all that is need is that she has to trust Dad - although he does some strange things and struggles with some of the things he tries to cook. She never knows what she should be wearing and my sister and I have to put her clothes out for when she'd going out somewhere. She refuses to go to the Doctor and throws away tablets she doesn't want to take.

Today we were going to a rugby match but Mom didn't want to go so SHH and I stopped at home while my sister and Dad went down to Worcester to watch the game. Unfortunately she got upset by the change in time for KO and in her attempts to organise Dad ended up really getting aggressive with him so much so that my sister had to get him away from the situation with Mom saying she was going to go out as soon as she'd had her lunch because she didn't want to be here any more. Phone call to Rose again.

We had arranged to bring her round home to "help" make some mince pies. She wouldn't talk to us for a time then I managed to divert her and she agreed to come with us.

She and I had a nice afternoon working together on making the mince pies. She remembers how to do some bits of things like that but can't remember the whole job. She cried and said she was so sorry that she'd shouted at Dad because he is so kind to her... Then she forgot about that as soon as he arrived back and she wouldn't talk to him to start with.

The mother child relationship is now completely reversed for us. My Mom is not here any more. I have to love the woman who has replaced her and try to protect my Dad as he struggles with this. An ending... but not a beautiful one, but one with so much love in it.

Pinker