oshawa sunset

simple non-involved fake feelings for today: i've been hurt. my boyfriend and i went through another dramatic break up.. i'm lost

over explained, how i truly feel about today: my bf decided he was tired of my depression & social anxiety. as did another person in his life, the two of them spent the day picking on me and bullying me. i feel abandoned and hurt. i'm angry. its one thing for my boyfriend and i to have a fight, it's another to have a third party show up and tell me all the things that are wrong with me, while i'm going through a breakup. those people have to expect me to be more angry and hurtful than usual.

i'm broken. i'm hurt. i'm lonely. i feel like garbage. i feel worthless. i wish i was dead. i wish i meant more to the people i want to care about me. and if i can't have that, i wish the people who cared about me, cared less. so i could end my life. but i can't.

theres nothing left of me. i hope that if i sit here, and don't move long enough, that i'll disintegrate. and that will be it.

i called a counselor. a free one. i'm sure there will be a waiting list.
i'm scared out of my mind. i have social anxiety, so i don't like to talk to people to begin with. i don't believe these people will help me anyways.

i'm not sure if i'm ready to be ok yet.