tits

So, how do you get a tit to look at the camera? And to stay still for just a microsecond?

Maybe tits are beyond me (always more of a bum man anyway).

Today verged on farce. My 10.40 to Edinburgh was cancelled about 10.50 after being announced as 8, then 9, then 10, then 11 and finally 12 minutes late. I waited for the 10.59 and when it was showing as "on time" at 11.02 but hadn't arrived, I gave up.

Perfect judgement. It was announced as cancelled just as I got to the ticket window for a refund. First in a long queue.

They're not known as Scotfail for nothing. Mind you, the cause seems to have been a rodent chewing on a signal cable so maybe I'm being a bit harsh.

It was 2° (but colder in a strong, icy wind) and snowing a bit while I was waiting, so my Victor Meldrew approach was justified.

Luckily I decided not to join the merry throngs of C*****mas lemmings driving into Edinburgh and gave my apologies to the meeting organiser. "Luckily" because they closed the Forth Road Bridge for 40 minutes about the time I would have been driving home.

Icicles...

Want to hear about my 5 hour internet outage? No, thought not.