Dragon Whisperer

Amazing butterfly display today. I wasn’t counting, but I would guestimate around 25 different species, two or three missing from my collection of eighty. However, this scruffy old dragon took the spot for me. I was able to do some dragon whispering and lifted his abdomen high in the air with my finger.

Rats

Over the last three years, the Blipping years, I have made my peace with many creatures; wasps, ants, snakes, geckos and shrews, to name but a few. The jury is still out on mosquitos, but rats, I hate with a passion. Not a fearful hate, although there is plenty to fear, from disease and infection, but an ‘I want to step on your neck’ hate.

Yesterday, at around 2am I was awoken by a tickling sensation on my nose. I opened one eye and found myself face to face with a big fat rat, which rapidly scuttled away into the kitchen.

I tried to get back to sleep, but that was obviously not going to happen. Every few minutes there would be more scuttling and rustling. My hate runs so deep that I didn’t even reach for the camera.

I sneaked into the kitchen and the ‘thing’ leapt out of the trash can and dove behind the fridge. I gave the fridge a good noisy beating and it rushed out and into the bathroom. I followed, but no sign, obviously escaped down the uncovered drainage pipe.

I pulled out the fridge, swept up about half a litre of sultanas and spent the next hour or so mopping and disinfecting the area.

Early this morning I heard the same rustling again. This time, armed with the bottom half of my billiards cue, I went straight to the fridge and gave it a good rattle. The huge rodent emerged and rushed for the bathroom. The swing of the cue stick never had a hope of hitting its target and just wasted a valuable second, but I got to the bathroom in time to see the evil monster disappear down the toilet pan.

“Aha, gotcha” I thought, as I approached, expecting to see a lively floating turd with a tail just waiting to be clubbed to death – nothing! It had dove down, round the U-bend and escaped. CRAP! Now I can’t even have a crap in peace without thinking of a skinny tailed rat biting me in the ass. What is even worse, this thing has been running around my kitchen. Now I have to wash every surface and utensil before use.

War has been declared, let the battle commence. Warning - this saga is unlikely to be for the feint hearted.

Dave