The Martin Parr Theme Park

She may be ninety but The Memsahib, never one to miss an opportunity, has started a new business venture.

Later this year, coinciding with the Lancashire Trade Holidays in August, she'll be flinging open her doors to invite all the lads and lassies from the Dark Satanic Mills to enjoy the pleasures of the worlds first Martin Parr Theme Park.

Visitors, who'll have to leave their clogs at the door, will be invited to see collections of commemorative plates, the plaster puti on the rosebud wallpaper and the not so casually placed knick-knacks which adorn every room. Afterwards they will be invited to take tea and cherry cake from the 'Roses of England' china, while talking about the weather.

With the strains of 'Sing as we go" still ringing in their ears, the holiday makers can have the satisfaction of knowing that they've had a 'grand day out......' and all for two bob and a jam jar.

She'll make a fortune.......'anyone got a Woodbine?