The standard muffin

This is the standard Heathrow birthday muffin. It comes with a certificate of compliance stating that it meets Heathrow standards. Unfortunately real candles are not allowed due to security and terrorist threats. The muffin has been fully assessed for health and safety and is deemed to be a high risk item with a serious residual risk. There is a high likelihood that muffins increase the risk of weight gain and heart attack.
The risks have been assessed and are deemed acceptable provided that several extra lengths are undertaken during swimming.

The muffin has now been remove and destroyed............yum