A Long Story!

To cut ALS short, key words:

Problem:
Immobiliser faulty
Bonnet catch faulty
Flat battery
No road tax

Solution:
Garage!
Shiny new rigid towbar
Towing eye in boot
Tax online (tax disc obsolete 31 October 2014)

Problem:
Towing car (indicated right*)
Towed car (momentarily went straight on**)
Tow bar bent
Car trim bent (tow bar)
Screw thread of towing eye broken in chassis
Darkness descending
Cold

Solution:
Call breakdown company
Recovery mechanic fiddles
Key fob opens doors
Key fob does not override immobiliser

Problem:
Car not at original brake down location
Key fob ******** (transponder weirdly missing)
Mechanic's diagnosis "human error"

Consequence:
No recovery
Car (****) abandoned by roadside

Solution:
SNAFU so GOK

* Hamey (hero)
** Yours truly (idiot)
*** Breakdown company (tight)
**** Daughter's (philosophical and forgiving)
********Key fob (expletive deleted)