Glass Half-Empty or Half-Full?

A lovely sunny start to the day. We decided to go for breakfast at a little cafe, and took Little B as well. Not sure it was really his thing, but he was well behaved :-)

Broke my diet and ordered pancakes for a change. As you can see they look fab! Unfortunately they didn't taste so good. More fried than griddled, and soupy in the middle. Urgh. I ate one, plus some of Little Ro's avocado and a sausage.....

Collected the rest of my bedding, then home. Felt pretty tired, and could have dropped off in the sun. Stupidly decided to go shopping in Guildford, but ended up going against rush hour. Spent a little time there, but my heart wasn't in it today. It ended up taking an hour to get home- not sure it was really worth it.

I've felt rather blue this evening. I wanted to go to a Halloween themed party at the pub I go to in Soho. Only problem was, no pals to go with! Now I'm very sociable, and I'll talk to anybody, but I wasn't sure it would be the best thing to go alone. The other dilemma was that He might be there, and it could be very awkward. And for me, that really was the deal breaker. I'm disappointed, as I feel I've missed out, but my mum would be delighted to know I'm at home safe instead of out having fun! It's lovely that she cares about me, but I think I made the wrong decision tonight. And now the blues have hit! It's easy to get yourself into a downward spiral- and it's a shame as I felt quite happy this week. But every now and then it hits you all over again, although it never really goes away. Hard to see if things will get better or worse, hence the title of this blip.

I feel alive when I'm out with people, and I think when you're alone, the mind starts over-thinking. Or it could be that I've not been at work this week, so I've had more time on my hands!

Hopefully I'll feel a bit brighter tomorrow.

I'm stuck in the past, existing in the present, and struggling to move forward. Sucks to be me!