One fine day in the middle of the night

Where do I start?

It's That time of year again when slutty witches, sexy red riding hood and naughty nurses descend on the streets and demand sweet treats with menaces or snogging!

My little kitten is not a sexy anything. She is a scary witch's cat - she has always opted for the scary Halloween costume rather than the slut fest which seems to be the norm these days!

You note I say this with a completely straight face knowing full well my kitteh looks like a wee sex bomb with whiskers - I just like to pretend :)

I remember when Halloween was 'guising' and I had to dress up and be completely rehearsed before I could venture out and entertain (note entertain not terrorise) the neighbourhood. Poems had to be word perfect, jokes were short and sharp and punchy.


Nowadays I have to prepare by increasing my weekly shop by about thirty quid, look suitably impressed when a series of scantily clad girls and boys dressed as iron man zombie come to the door and shake plastic bags at me demanding treats before they 'trick' me. The occasional one who comes to entertain typically tells me a joke I have to either ask for an explanation after he has left, or laugh sweetly feigning humour when I'm mortally affronted that such a small person has such a wide vocabulary


We decided to avoid it this year - and took to the highlands! The Rest and Be Thankful is passable thanks to a wee detour (not the typical 26 mile one) ... Mum is fleeing and Moyra...., I think might possibly be dancing on the tables by now, she was shimmying round the chairs when we headed up.

I don't know - these oldies are worst than the weans!