Rachel x

I awoke quite early and got into a half awake, half asleep anxiety tiz about life and was quite seriously toying with handing in my notice. This lasted til I got to work when I got my head down and grafted and the feeling went away. My mind is really annoying sometimes.

Two things happened today which made me wonder how seriously I ought to consider my options in life at present. First, I found my car keys, lost a good year ago, in a secret pocket of my briefcase. I took this as a good omen at the time.

The next thing was much more sobering and upsetting. My sister called me at work to give me the devastating and shocking news that our lovely friend (and sometime blipper Rachroo), pictured with Teddy in my blip just last week on 22 October, died in her sleep at the weekend. I just couldn't believe it. She'd spent the week with C and S and Teddy last week. I saw her on Tuesday. She went home on Friday, went out for a night out on Saturday and didn't turn up for work on Monday. We think she died of an instant heart attack just like B, but this surely shouldn't happen to a fit 43 year old. She was not married and had no children but leaves eight siblings (she was the youngest) and many nieces and nephews who will be devastated.

Rachel was a jolly, loving, giving person, with a wicked sense of humour and who lived life to the full and was at the heart of her family. She was one of my sister's closest and most supportive friends and I thought she was ace. She will be greatly missed.

I had a cry in the shower room away from public gaze and then found that work was somewhat of a relief, if a little irrelevant, for the rest of the day, giving me something solid to focus on.

My guests are out in London tonight so it's Lottie and me in front of the telly trying to make sense of this strange life. (I can't get excited about photos so this blip is simply the remnants of my dinner tray.)

Rest eternal grant unto Rachel, Oh Lord and let light perpetual shine upon her.
God bless you Rachel xxx rest in peace