Some Boys Take A Beautiful Girl ...

Back in the day, it was a favourite pass time of me mam's to fantasize about Sheen Canary. (Sean Connery).    

She did believe that if he had met her, instead of Michelline, he would have indeedy taken her for his very own.  

To this end, it was decided that we, together, her and I, would stalk said Sheen Canary at any Pro-Am Golf Tournament which was taking place within driving distance of home.   (My dad's death had hit her hard, and I was typically roped in to any of her great ideas in order to entertain her.  The Grab a Granny Dancing Episode is NOT one I shall be reliving any time soon).

These excursions typically involved us listening to Cannon and Ball cracking jokes on the green.  Bruce, doing alright alright, up the fairways, and Jimmy Tarbuck wiping the floor with the clubs.  

We would skirt round the outskirts of the crowds, see if we could positively Identify Sheen, and if he wasn't there, run very fast to the next group of folk.   Despite living with a father who played golf at least three times a week, mother and I were unable to follow a leader board and work out where any one was.

This particular trip - we had given up and headed back to the car park... as we approached the car park, we spotted dapper man, looking very Sheen Canary-ish heading for the practise green just to the front of the hotel...

"IT IS HIM" I told mam.  "It IS". She agreed. And froze to the spot.  "Go, Go", I said, "Show him yourself", at which point she took to her heels and ran in the opposite direction from him.  

I was left to approach, let him borrow my orange bic and take photo at the same time.  

I had grounds for refusal after that.