Edinburgh University Library

I think the librarians live in this section of the building, at the back - away from civilization and, of course, the light.

"Can we come out now, Sir?"

"Are the precious books in order?"

"Not yet, Sir."

"Well get on with it!! No precious in order, no freedom!

About once a fortnight, a guard opens the door and throws a handful of muesli at them. It barely sustains them but is enough to stop them from trying to lick nutrients from the pages of the older publications.

It's a tough existence but it is for their own safety. What else can the university do? To let them free after so long in captivity would be tantamount to murder. The world has moved on from cardigans, leather sandals, countdown and militant vegetarianism. It's all x-factor, iphones, happy slapping and David Hasselhoff re-imagined these days.

Toodle-pip.