Can I help? Go on .. let me help…..

We’re at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham for an assessment on my fitness for surgery. It’s been an 80 mile drive up a wet and windy motorway and we’re thirsty and in need of a comfort break. We’re about an hour early and before going off to satisfy our needs, I look at my appointment letter. This is a big mistake; think red rag to a bull. Or to a man in blue……

……. because a man in blue pounces on our apparent uncertainty; “Can I help you?” I explain that we’re just checking where to go ….. “let me see your letter” … and with that he takes it and walks over to a ‘self booking-in’ scanner. We chase after him.

This man in blue is a voluntary hospital ‘greeter’. His job is to point people in the right direction; as I look round I see lots of them - all silver-haired……

I explain that we’re early and need a drink, but he’s on a mission; “I’ll just book you in” I try to stop him, but too late .....

Me; “We need the loo and a drink.” Him: “But you’re booked in now, you’ll have to go through…” Me; “but we didn’t want to be booked in yet”. Him: “???”. Me; “******”.

If this all sounds a bit trivial in the grand scheme of things, I should explain that we’re an hour early and the various tests will take about two hours. So it could be another three hours before we get a drink and something to eat. And we’re a bit stressed because there’s a lot riding on this visit.

It takes about an hour before I’m seen by the assessment nurse. We spend most of that time trying to work out if we can dash to the tea-bar and get a drink without losing our place in the queue.

I get through the assessment with only one concern; I’m on warfarin. I need to see an anaesthetist, before I can be passed ‘fit for surgery’. We can’t go home yet, but the nurse is really helpful and sends us off to get something to eat and drink and offers to come and find us when a doctor is free.

Eventually it’s all over; we agree that I’ll stop taking the drug 5 days before surgery and they have a plan for what happens if my blood fails to clot during the operation.

So … all systems go now.

If we can get past the man in blue. He’s in the bottom of the frame on the lookout for his next victim someone else to help.