Autumn Cometh.

The class was half way through. Social Science, we were studying maps, learning how to calculate the distant between point A and B using the scales provided.

For the most part I was just watching over the class, sat at the front with my back to to the board. The children would reanimate themselves for every split second the teacher turned. I had been called upon to elaborate on a couple of topics, (I even had to ad lib a presentation of a Roman map the day before), so I had to maintain an element of attentiveness while I scanned over the pupils.

My shoulders shrunk into myself when the teacher started asking the children to come to the board and explain their workings out, converting centimetres into kilometres by way of a series of sums.

I can't do maths. I haven't done any since I was 15, and even then it was reluctantly. My palms get clammy with nerves just thinking about counting out change at the supermarket in front of everybody. What's more, these kids were literally half my age. How could I show my face in here again if I was politely asked to show them the correct method.

The daymare flitted past my eyes: me at the board, sweat running down my face, balls of paper clarting against the back of my head, knees trembling, the teacher staring at me as thought a great big Neanderthal was looking back, "ha, okay, erm I'll draw a line, I think, or is it here?,

So I kept looking down at my notebook, pretending to jot something down. Please don't ask me, please don't ask me.

A bright looking kid in the front row got up and took the chalk. He started dashing out digits on the board, numbers here, lines here, tiny numbers floating around bigger numbers. He's some sort of child genius no doubt, I thought. I could almost see the calculations whizzing around his head like Russell Crowe in that film I've never actually seen.

When the dust from his frantically drawn out calculation had settled, the child prodigy returned to his seat without looking at his answer. He knew he was right.

"Well done", said the teacher, "you can see here that..."

I was bewildered, I felt like stopping the class: "Hang on a minute, did anyone else see that?! That was amazing, this guy should be at university already..."

But apparently all 12 year olds can do long division.

Just not all 24 year olds.