Ms. Choy

Found this drawing in my purse and laughed at how I'm now Ms. Choy.


Oh man.


Teaching has been hard. Emotionally and physically draining.

Long story short, I don't have my own classroom anymore. Rather, I'm a substitute, an aid, and observing/training at the same time. Didn't agree with it but logistically, I'm the only staff that can do all this since I'm the newly hired one.

I tell people I am grateful that I have a job, even before I graduated and it's not a lie, but it just feels unfair at where I am now. I'm learning a lot on how to be a better teacher through the small experiences I go through everyday, but it's been a challenge to establish a relationship with the kids when I'm running between two locations almost every week.

And the commute. Oh man. An hour and a half everyday. Exhausting. An easy-to-make dinner and TV then bed right after, please.


I think what's been the biggest struggle though, is the loneliness. I have nobody to connect with about the job I have and nobody to process it all with (especially not with those that really overlook teaching in general). In this job alone, it's daily questions of "what can I do better so these kids are learning better", "am I influencing these kids positively", and "how can I still glorify Him in amidst of all this"? while I really don't have an example to look up to.

And then there's going home to no community whatsoever. No more AAIV and church is 30 minutes away, so let's not even mention small group. Praise God though that there are small steps taken to improve this area after meeting up with my pastor today.


Everything's just been so scrambled. In my head and everyday, even while going through the same motions from the moment I wake up.



I can only hope that the pieces will start falling to their right places soon.