Here is my stuff set out ready for my last long run before the taper. That tablet is an electrolyte tablet to put in water to make it a sports drink, clever eh!

It was pretty grim though, i was not feeling good the whole way through and I ended up hitting the wall at about mile 18. My legs were screaming, heavy and didn't want to move and I felt hopeless and my head was full of negative thoughts and i wanted to cry! I also got really angry with the sun as it was constantly in my eyes. Get a grip woman!!
I also started hallucinating, i thought a screwed up bin bag in my path was a big dead crow and a tree bush thing was an old man. I realise now that I've hit the wall once before, I thought it was just a bad run but I felt exactly the same as today. It was my first go at 18 miles and I ended up doing 17 as i just got too tired, dead legged and pissed off and started seeing things as stuff it wasn't. Apparently there is a scientific reason behind these hallucinations it's something to do with your brain being sugar deprived or something. And low dopamine means negativity and the "why am I doing this?" feeling.

My second go at 18 the other week went much better and i felt strong and positive the whole way. I felt like I'd be able to do the full distance no problem. Today i felt wretched. Good and bad days I guess, just hope race day is one of the good ones. I couldn't imagine doing another 6 today to make it the full distance. I'm never ever doing another!

I've been trying to work out what made my last long run so good and this one so bad so I can fix it for race day. I've eaten badly this week and i was hungry starting the run despite having eaten porridge. Also I haven't slept well for the last 4 days I keep waking up in the night. Before the marathon ill be sure to carb load through the week before and make sure the day before I've eaten enough. Really hope the excitement and adrenaline of race day makes it a good one cos today was horrendous. My confidence has taken a knock!