Set my alarm for this morning’s visit at 10am. I needn’t have bothered as I had a really interrupted sleep; awake every hour.

C the support worker came and we walked down to Newhaven Harbour with our cameras. He uses his camera to take shots then paint them. After about 10-15mins I had had enough and I could feel my anxiety creep in. I didn’t say anything; he was having a great time having not being here before and I concentrated on my breathing that the OT had helped me with.

I focused on all the reflections in the water on this sunny morning and got a few shots I like.
Eventually after an hour we headed back up and we said our goodbyes.

On the way up the stairs the tears started and they didn’t stop for a while. I’m not quite sure why; relief that I was home? My chest was sore, my breathing was all over the place and it ended in a panic attack. Lay in bed and sobbed for a while.

Got a text from Steven to say they were back from their holiday and would be in this afternoon. Picked up Mum and headed down for a much needed cuddle from Lewis. Found the busyness of the chat; news from their holiday and Mums visit to our half-sister over in the west quite full on and again the anxiety was back.

Was I asked how I was and how my week had been? No.