Ups and downs

Feeling a bit up and down today. Tired after OBD woke up 4 times in the night (11pm, 2am, 4am and 5.15am - not sure what it is about 5.15 but OBD often wakes up then regardless of when her last feed was). Luckily she went down ok after each one. Had a bit of a lie in while the fella got up with OBD and after her nap we all went swimming. We haven't all been for a while so was good to have some family time.

After a yummy lunch of scrambled egg on toast we headed out to a nearby village - according to the leaflet 'Venice of the Cotswolds' Whilst it was very pretty, it was heaving with tourists. I'd hate to visit in the height if summer. OBD was a bit grizzly there too but enjoyed playing by the water with her daddy!

So we left and headed to another village to find a tea and cake shop. It was much better - found a cafe named after OBD and had some lovely cake. I really really need to go on a health kick when we get home - starting to feel fat and not myself which I was kinda expecting after giving birth but I think a lot of the weight naturally fell off so I've got complacent about getting the rest off. I've signed up to start Pilates on Monday so that can be the start. Whilst there I got a text from a friend who had her daughter just over 2 weeks ago - they're in hospital as her daughter stopped breathing on Sunday. Couldn't help but cry reading it to the fella. They're not sure what the problem is so looks like a long spell in hospital but apparently she's much more responsive and feeding well today so fingers crossed / prayers said that they find the issue and fix it soon.

Back home to play with a now very smiley OBD who I had to give some extra cuddles too. Then read a heartfelt blip from an amazing friend talking about her postnatal depression - again I cried as I hate how shit she's been feeling and despite her saying I have I don't feel I've been there as much as I could have been. But so glad that she's feeling better now.

It's all making me realise even more what a roller coaster journey being a parent is - if my own up and down hormones weren't already signalling that! But I wouldn't change having OBD for all the world. I still can't quite believe she's here and she's mine. And that I'm a mum.