Indecision

at Waterloo, on a Friday night.

After last night, I was determined to have a better day today. I felt more rested this morning, and was more upbeat. But within ten minutes of arriving at work, I was destined to a day of being alone with 31 6 year olds... Not anyone's fault, and I was happy to help, but again, I was irrationally peeved.

Apart from the that, the day was fine. The sun never came out, and I couldn't decide whether or not to go to an event I had been invited to. I wasn't sure it was really my thing.

I felt quite anxious, for a variety of reasons, but decided to go. The sight of Little B on the back of the sofa barking as I left tugged at my heartstrings and made me feel like I should stay home.

Once I got to Waterloo, I decided to get a coffee and a sandwich at Pret, and sat inside for a change, where I took this picture. And as I sat there, I decided that this was where the journey ended. I didn't have to go anyplace I didn't want to. I sat and read, I people-watched, and thought my own thoughts, And yet, there was a part of my mind telling me how silly I was, how I shouldn't be there etc. And I almost laughed. I'm an adult. If I want to sit in a coffee place on my own, thinking, and not talking, then I can!

I had a wander around, and bought a few bits to cheer me up in Accessorize. And then I got on the train to go home. I popped into a pub I went to with guy friend on my walk back to my car, as they had a sign in their window about looking for bar staff. I think I'll hand my CV in next week (only for a bit of extra work, and slush fund money ;-)

And I was home by 9:30pm. On a Friday night. I lied that I'd been where I said I was going, but I don't care. Nobody needs to know. I suppose I'm a bit embarrassed.

But I decide what happens to me, right?