The Box

Day Two. I woke up shattered. I hauled myself out of bed, but the whole time you're fumbling around and wondering how on earth you'll make it through the day.

I actually had a really nice morning. My class are lovely and we had a great lesson on feelings.

But I ended the day feeling really irritable. My colleague needed me to stay and do some stuff, and I really didn't want to. It's like I could feel MY time slipping away, and precious little there is in the evenings anyway. Reading that back I realise it sounds irrational, but I need to be honest about how I felt.

I came home and just needed to chill. I felt really dishevelled, and had a nice bath and hairwash. As I sat, I thought through the day, and those feelings began to dissipate. Little B seemed quite morose today, and was very quiet. I think he picked up on our tiredness and grumpiness, and that made me feel worse. I tried to spend lots of time with him this evening, as I hate the idea that he's feeling unhappy.

A friend shared a link on Facebook today about the demise of teaching, well, the realities of it. It was extremely accurate, and reaffirms the fact that I'm not sure I want to do this anymore....

Article

There, I've said it. I just don't think the realities are what I signed up for 8 years ago. But is the grass greener?

I'm the epitome of Chandler Bing " You need the fear!" and " I'm too afraid" !