It's chestnut right....

Those of you who are acquainted with me, will be as surprised as I am to realise I'm not a doctor. (Obviously, I could have been, but I failed the illegible handwriting module....)

Anyway, I often wonder if doctors hear as many euphemisms as we do in the pharmacy. Following on from the conejo episode at the weekend, I had someone yesterday asking if I could give her something for her 'hootenanny'. (I was tempted to recommend a ceilidh band, but thought better of it. She was bigger than me. With a sore hootenanny.)

I know that people get a bit embarrassed, but seriously, would you tell a healthcare professional (yes, I am talking about myself there) that you had a problem with your fandango? (I actually told the woman she should see Craig Revel Horwood for help with that one. She didn't laugh as much as I did.)

Most people, when trying to say anything about their nether regions, just incline their heads slightly and say they have a problem down there. (Where - Australia?)

But perhaps euphemisms are better than the big (very posh, but clearly mad) bloke, who marched in one day, and from the back of the shop, bellowed, 'My penis is aflame. What are you going to do about it?'

I so wanted to sell him a fire extinguisher.....