Hairmessing

First of all, I would like to thank The Princess for taking this Blip...

As well as a Budding Blipper, she is fast becoming a Master Of Stating The Bleedin Obvious...

Picking her up from school, the first thing out of her mouth was : "Daddy, you got a haircut...."
And proceeded, to my mortification, to solicit the opinion of every other parent there, regarding my freshly shorn skull.

It wasnt supposed to happen this way....

I rang Britten, my Hairmesser on Retainer, about a scalping this morning.
"No can do", says she, "But Sue is working, and dont forget to ask her about her Lovely Pair", and she hung up, cackling at the approximate temperature of a Wiccans Mammary....

In, so, I rock to the Barbers, and ever eager to oblige, enquire of Sue as to the status of her Lovely Pair.....

"Sit the fuck down" says Sue, so I did. It doesnt pay to mess with Tallaght girls bearing sharp implements.
Or bearing Double Trouble, for that matter.

"Whats the craic, Sue?"
"Twins. Fuckin twins. Whaddya want done, the usual? Grand, just lean forward there....Unbelievable, had the scan yesterday, I KNEW I was big for four months, but, fucksake, TWINS!!!! Course he's delighted, sure how many men can say their wife gave them the whole family less than seven months after gettin married, an....
"Just a trim, Sue-Babe, take her easy....."
"An now everything has to be bought twice, I dont know if its two of the blue, or the pink, or a dolly-fuckin-mixture, cos one of them wouldnt co-operate with the fella doin the scan, an...."
"Not too much off the lid, please, Sue...."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"An sure the business is fucked- six months maternity, yer man told me I could take, cos its twins, but sure who the fuck will pay for that???? And hes workin for nothin, the buildin is fucked too, an he was lookin in the back seat of the car yesterday, doin his sums, thinkin, where will they all fit? an that fuckin car, the tax costs me more than I paid for it, an.."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"Sue, really, it'll be fine, and maybe not so much off around the ears, I can hear you...."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"An sure how can I come back to work, after? sure who the fuck will take twins, an......will I do the eyebrows?"
"Youre grand, Sue, thanks.."
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The haircut was a tenner. I gave her twenty, on account of the twins.

And now, I have no hair.
But thanks, Sue, you, and the twins, are worth every penny....