truth

- John Piper

It stung a little when I read this. This idea that it is not about me. With the whole world feeding the "I" and "me" perspective into my head everyday, it has been hard to learn what it means to be selfless every single day.

So I guess this is the second part to the reason why I stopped using Blip (and other social media) for a while. At least the best I can.

It's because I was addicted to the praises.

Well, and the attention. And the number of likes and the comments I can get, and who actually pays attention to me. My worth became defined by these numbers and faces that I don't even see anymore. How empty can that be? I sought after love and praises from people that don't even know me, and I don't even know them. This summer was a disaster internally as I plunged into this lie that there are certain requirements of how many friends you have and how many likes you get which ultimately then defines how lovable you are. And how much you're worth.

By the time I discovered this unhealthy appetite, I decided to step back from social media as much as I can. Not only discover how challenging it was to see once again that I can only be known and loved through Facebook, but also how many people do not actually know me (also how many people I can communicate only through social media).

I failed many times through these months to not use it or to simply just not post a lot of things on my wall, but I am glad that my eyes were opened. And I can only hope that my eyes continue to be opened.

Such a serious heart check I needed.