And the Sun Breaks Through

Oh Lord. The Gods must be shining on me because it literally feels like my heart has sprung wings. I don't know what this mood that's come over me is. I got home from this less-than-average hangout with my best friend, her boyfriend, and a friend of his and suddenly wanted closure with my high school crush. I wanted to have lunch with the boy I had a violent crush on all through high school and talk. Right now, I'm not even sure what "talking" entails. I don't know what I want to say. But while I was thinking about it post-shower, I really just wanted closure. I wanted to see him again since I missed him yesterday at a going-away party. I want to see him and talk to him without other people around so I can be me. I can act like myself and not feel like I need to put on a show. I want to be real with him. It's my last chance to know him. And I want that. I want to finally see what it is about him that I've latched onto for the past four years, through all my relationships and boys I've liked; it always comes back to him. I've got to know that there is a valid reason why I liked him so much. I need to know that all those feelings didn't fall into some kind of abyss--that he was worth that one-sided love. Scared, yet hopeful at the same time, I grew a pair and asked him to lunch. Via Facebook message. Brave, I know. I'm quite the doe-eyed romantic though, believe me. And now, I have a lunch date with the boy of my dreams tomorrow at noon. Not only that but he's gonna pick me up, and I have permission to text him and wake him up if need be. I'm so thrilled, I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep tonight. Hopefully, I don't make a fool of myself. T-12hours. <3