Cute

I had ducklings.
And I had one little fluffy duckling looking all sweet and fluffy and yellow in the sun.
I had Tess being all enigmatic and probably a bit weird.

I decided to choose ducklings.

But then I found this photo. It's a cheat, really, because Joel took it of his dad. Everyone was borrowing my camera and taking photos of one another at the table at lunchtime while we waited for our sarnies at Marwood Hill Garden.

So I do own it really: My son, my husband, my camera.
And I'd talked Joel through making sure it was on the right settings.

My love for my family is huge. I think about them all all the time. I know I'm a bit tricky to be with sometimes and that irks me. But they are my constant obsession.
I think of my children as branches on my tree - they will grow and stretch and wind off in their own direction; and I think of Richard as my roots, my fellow in creating a strong base from which our children grow.
One day, when they've all branched off, I hope and long that we'll still be left standing and holding some precious ground together.

I adore the very bones of this man. Sometimes I panic that I disappoint him and he will leave me, and so I put everything I can into working out what he needs and how I can make him content. Other days, my essential self-preservation gets in the way of me being a dream wife and I have to concentrate on surviving and afterwards I hurt so much that I have had to deal with myself before others.

I am glad that I have discovered that it is probably Asperger's that causes me to be this way. I hope he can see how much effort I make and how much I adore him. Some people are naturally easy and sociable and for them it is like free-wheeling. For me it is like pedalling uphill constantly and always pulling over for cars.

I love with no trouble.
I do what people expect me to do to prove it with a lot of trouble.

We had a lovely day today. We went to watch Earth to Echo at the cinema this morning - which was far far better than I was expecting (it even portrayed a boy with Aspergers really well) and then we just kept busy with things all day.

I'm not going to write anymore because Richard is tired and he has to get up early to open the shop tomorrow. I hope we filled his 2 days off with the best kind of stuff.

Ironic really that me writing this is keeping him up!