Talent spotted

This film crew were shooting 'the bus stop scene' for a new movie. The imaginatively named scene seemed to involve nothing more than a woman standing alone at a bus stop. At least they took the time to get her makeup just right.

One of the crew I was chatting with asked if I would like to take part in the movie. Obviously a talent scout with vision, who realised I have what it takes to make it in the film industry. It's a short step from Holyrood to Hollywood.

I have to report on set on Saturday night. It may only be the Bingo Hall in Portobello, but even Dame Judi had to start somewhere. I've been told to dress like a typical bingo player, "old and working class". Bloody cheek. I can do the first bit without trying, and I'll just have to dust off my flat cap and take off my pearls.

Song