Gazing through the Roses

Almost this entire Sunday a damp grey blanket of clouds hang over the valley. Still it is too hot to find some hidden funny side to our small world here. Or to go outside and opt for a small tour. The best remedy I could find was to scrub the kitchen floor and do the vac job. Willemien was happy to move the last rubbish from the garage. So, not particularly that wistful day as our culture has intended for worship or reflexion. Since long we both do not participate any more in religious activities, I mean in the traditional church-bound sense. In that traditional sense we are fully homeless. Without regrets, when I speak for myself. That does not mean that - in the course of my life - I’ve not experienced some deep breaking crises, which made clear that growing into some personal form of spiritual faith was a matter of responding naturally with my whole life to an undeniable appeal from the depth of my heart.

Yes, you might say, we have read about these matters before in this Journal, but here we are on a Photography-site, and we can’t see what your personal intimacies have to do with the pics you shoot, the techniques - if any…- you use. But of course you are free to post your daily ruminations here. As long as you don’t expect from us to read your scribblings or even take them seriously. Besides, you started this Sunday Closure by mentioning your “scrub and vac job” as a way of making sense against a paralyzing or depressing mood. Is that the way you deal with “Sunday-neurosis”? What spiritual meaning is hidden in that scrubbing of yours? Why not open the winebottle, play cards, enjoy music, invite friends? You might feel an urge to tell us about cooking or other nice pleasures...but to “scrub”...?

Indeed, in a way I like doing the scrubbing. And moving the mop with my bare feet. As walking over that clean floor now gives me satisfaction. I feel content and ready for the cooking tomorrow. In return for the meal Willemien made this evening. I feel satisfied by doing these everyday simple chores, like we enjoy both our New Workplace, which is open now for the creative activities, we already undertook there: sketching, crayons, painting. Preparing my Palette, as I’ve called that. Many of the photo’s giving different views on “Carlsheaven” were studies for future brush work. As is todays “Gazing through the Roses”. Because that’s what I need in preparing for the painting. To start anew - leaving behind that satisfaction of cleaning up “The Hut” - breathe intensely, while Gazing through the Roses. Cleaning your pencil or scrubbing the floor. There are rituals for Preparing your Palette, for opening up to that Courbet-feeling. To hold your brush between your fingers is entirely a matter of Faith. And a cool breeze.