Pirate ship

You'll have noticed that this pirate ship is now anchored safely in the bay of Treasure Island, having beaten off an attack by a group of bandits, with the aid of a cannon made of the base of a parasol. We the crew have a map showing where the treasure is buried, and have collected a large cache of diamonds, which in their raw state resemble garden stones. We have a long voyage ahead of us to return home in time for lunch, but luckily we have a stock of pirate wine - though to me it tastes very much like water.

The chief pirate has now returned home to his Mum and Dad, and it's left to his mate to recount these adventures.