Burns Blow Out

How much can a person eat in one day? I think I need to be part of a Channel 4 documentary on this, given that I seem to have been trying to exceed the calorific world record today.

Started off the day by going out for a full slap up breakfast (the company included this little cutie) and the day continued along the same lines, ending with a Burns blow out. I never want to look at mashed potato again. I would have posted a blip of something Scottish but my friend was in charge of my camera while I recited. Taking squinty photos seemed to be the order of the day, none of which passed my quality control.

The recitation took on the form of something that wouldn't have been out of place in Brigadoon, as I adopted an unfeasibly loud, aggressive and gutteral accent, surprising not only myself but the predominantly Welsh audience.

I cringe as I type.