Epic Fail- Number 2.....

Oh dear. The day started well. I was up early, as I knew I had to be super organised today. I was going up to London tonight to see Holland v Argentina in the semi-final in the usual dutch pub in Soho. The first time I went I had to queue for three hours to get in, so mindful of that fact, I decided not to bother going home after work, and instead be ready to go straight from school. This meant two choices of outfits as the weather is a bit changeable, and shoes as well! Even brushed my teeth at lunchtime as I like to feel fresh when I go out :-)

After a long and demanding day at school, I was straight out the door and on the road. I was parked by 4pm, and had to change in the car- slightly risky but it was fine! I walked to the station and caught the fast train to Waterloo. A friend recommended this app called Happn, which connects you to potential dates around you, so I tried it out while I was on the train. I arrived at 5pm, and decided to go to my beloved Pret for a hot chocolate and a sandwich for my dinner. I hopped in a taxi which was a little more expensive than usual, but then it was rush hour. When I got there I was relieved there was no queue, and really glad I came early.

I sat down and met some girls who I met a couple of weeks ago there. It was great to see them and we had a good natter while the bar got busier and busier. I hadn't told guy friend specifically that I was coming tonight, but had sent him a message as I arrived at the pub. He said he wasn't djing tonight, but he was on his way. Ok, I thought, although this should have been my first clue that tonight wasn't going to work out. By 7:30pm he messaged me to say he was in the queue outside, but it was awful so they had given up. I went outside, expecting to find him, and I also messaged him to ask him where he was.

I stood outside, and it was nice to feel a bit of fresh air on my face. But it was heaving outside, and there were loads of whistles and things being played so it was really noisy too. I felt really stressed, because in my mind, I've just been abandoned in central London. I waited and waited, and nothing. I got to talking with another girl a bit younger than me who was waiting for her friends. She very kindly said I was more than welcome to join her and her friends.

Now technically, I had a group of lovely people in the pub, and I could easily have gone back in and enjoyed the game with them. But I couldn't think straight. I felt very uneasy, and yet there wasn't that much reason to be. I am an adult, I have money, credit cards, etc, although my phone was on half power what with using it all the time. I didn't know what to do, but I had to make a decision.

All in all, I must have waited an HOUR, party because I was holding out the hope of being able to meet my friend, and partly because I'd made the effort to come into London. He never messaged me back, so I decided enough was enough. I stood on the curb and hailed a taxi. He was a lovely guy, and he asked me loads of questions- possibly because I had the Netherlands stripes on my face :-) I must admit, the more he offered me sympathy, the more I felt close to tears! At age 30- I need to man up! But I was so disappointed that the evening was such a write off.

He very kindly knocked a little off the fare. I thought about walking, as I should know the route by now, and it was still light, but wimped out. I caught the fastest train back to Woking, and sat with a lovely guy on the train. He used to do teaching, so we had that in common. We had a good chat, but I was a bit of a downer, and I was absolutely shattered as well. I was back in my car by 10pm, and exhausted and fed up.

Finally guy friend sent me a text, and explained he'd gone back to the other side of town to watch the game. It was shame we had miscommunicated, but it was more than that. What it really showed me is he doesn't care about me at all. As a friend or anything else. I think the only reason he messaged back was in the hope that I'd give up and go home. And you know what, I don't need people like that in my life. I mentioned on Sunday's blip that I felt like I'd had a moment of clarity, and this is one more thing to affirm that. I feel really hurt, and quite upset about it. Would I treat somebody I cared about like that? No, I wouldn't, because friends are people who've got your back, no matter what happens.

I drove home, I was so tired. I couldn't be bothered with a bath, even though I always feel gross after sitting on yucky trains. Put my cosy PJ's on, brushed my teeth, and put the last bit of the game on in the background. Maybe I should have just stayed put this evening and watched it at home in the first place. But I suppose nothing ventured nothing gained.

I feel bad, because I never say to another person how I feel when they upset me. But maybe I should start, instead of always brushing things under the carpet.

** The end result was a bit of a disappointment. Sad for NL that they are out- maybe they'd have got through if I'd stuck around to support them ;-)