balloons for indie

ill preface this entry with ,, yes its a dog.. but he was our dog so im not going apologise for sentimentality. we lost indie yesterday... we made the heartbreaking decision to have him put to sleep. The cancerous lump had finally got so big that it blocked his "functions and enough was enough .. but he was still indie.. he still wanted to be here,, he didnt want to go .you can tell this if you know your dogs....his head didnt drop...but he had bit into the lump and bled... still he didnt want to go ..which made the decision even harder.. to those of you that no not what im talking about will judge that we let him go on too long i say ,, try taking your mate somewhere and putting him to death, under the circumstances yes thats what we had to do but we also wanted to give him everyday he could cope with,, he knew enough about life that he didnt want to leave us. weve seen this before in dogs that have been with us in our 22 years together me and ali have always had groups of dogs and have seen 5 leave us ,, each one of them has been heartbreaking but indie was the final knife in our heart as far as shelties go..we wont get a better dog nor a replacement .. he was unique. responsible for rifling through the bins as soon as our backs were turned ,, vocal...always making moaning happy noises when you rubbed his ears .. my number 2 in the pack. the other three dogs seem somewhat lost now. as are we.. a big presence gone from our lives.. ripped away by cancer.. hate the sense of loss and emptiness which we seem to have a diet of for years, saying goodbye to people (or dogs) or "things" we value. friendships and the like ...we all let off balloons with messages on them that would reach him as a form of closure for the girls .. been a crap week..