and then the good news

which came on this day.
was teaching all day inside and came out. switched on my phone in the sunshine and for everyone else who passed around me i was just an obstruction, someone who slowed down too soon crossing the street, reading one further decline and finally, finally, an accept.
I steer myself round again, another course had been plotted and i would have been fine, this new one, despite how much I wanted it is huge, scary and will ask more of me. I have to believe it is possible again and earn it at real depth, not this shallow, fleeting getting away with it I've been doing

but for today, i tell my folks, i meet my sisters. P and E buy me dinner and we eat in the sun