Friendship

Yesterday was a hard one. I guess most days are hard really but I try to tell myself that they're not. But 7 months ago yesterday I was in Dunedin Hospital identifying my son's body. Not something I would wish on anyone!

I don't know where that 7 months has gone. I think for a long time, whilst believing that I was dealing with things rather well, I was actually just numb. Lately the numbness has been wearing off a little and I hurt. I hurt more and more each day.

I've seriously considered giving up blip, because I've had to fight the urge every day to mention Blaze and how I'm not coping with losing him. But in the end I've decided to keep blipping - and to stop fighting the urge. It's my journal and my boy is such a huge part of who I am that he belongs here too. The truth I've come to realise is that if I want to write about him or my pain, I can!

Anyway ...

Last night my meeting in Nelson went until after 8 so it was 10 p.m. by the time I drove home. I pulled up in my driveway to see a huge box on my doorstep. I immediately started racking my brain to work out if I'd ordered something random online, but couldn't think of anything.

It turned out to be the most glorious bouquet of flowers. It made me cry. Before reading the card I couldn't imagine who would have sent me flowers on a random day - well a day when no-one would know how much I was hurting. It turned out they were sent by a very special friend. She said she saw the flowers and the colours seemed just right for me, so she sent them.

Her words were "You deserve them." I cried (I'm getting good at that).

Thank you so much M.

I have always placed great value on your friendship. Having you in my life is special and although we don't see a lot of each other now, I think of you often and you are always in my heart. I tell stories of our great times together, our theme parties, our camping trips, our university studies, our laughter, our children, our ... The list could cover pages and pages.

I am very fortunate in so many ways, and your friendship reminds me of that.