Crying Mama

If I could be as efficient as I was today every day, it would be frightening! Shopping, cleaning, washing, cooking Audrey's food, writing lists for Angus and packing for my break tomorrow.

All that and a new business meeting in Hale this morning. Met an old contact of Angus's who is in the lighting and interior business and needs PR. He used to be quite the lad, drinking and out every night and living in a penthouse in the city centre. The transformation was quite incredible. He's now Dad to a 6 month baby boy, engaged and living in a beautiful family home in Cheshire (see Audrey picture I snapped in his living room - me want!!)

Felt terrible dropping Audrey at nursery this morning though. She wouldn't come away from her toys to get ready so I lied and told her we were going on an adventure in the car. "Adventure, adventure" she said running to get her coat.

As we approached nursery, I think the truth finally dawned on her as there was a steely silence from the back seat. I said, "I'm sorry Audrey, the adventure is nursery". I felt bloody wretched and wished I'd never used that damn word in the first place. Lesson, learned.

She cried her heart out when we got there as she didn't recognise the key workers in her room. She wouldn't let go of me. It was one of my all-time worst nursery drop offs :( I later complained about the chopping and changing of staff in her room while her usual keyworker is on holiday. Not sure they can do anything about it but I had to say something!

Picked her up and savoured every minute with her tonight. Told her Mummy was going on an aeroplane and she looked at me with eyes that understood. She knew I was upset and we had a very long hug. It's pathetic really, am only away for two days (which will be lovely) and then we'll be together all weekend - but try reasoning with my breaking heart right now!!