Patterns

She lent forward and looked deep into my eyes and declared "you are very different to what I expected" I knew what she meant. I had disarmed her with my honesty, I removed the facade of bravado and facetiousness and beckoned her in. I quickly deflected what could be a very awkward moment
"No expectations, no let downs" I uttered.
This wasn't the first time I'd found myself in inappropriate company - in fact I probably wouldn't be keeping this company if I hadn't been keeping inappropriate company only a few weeks before. This time though, I couldn't decide which one of us it was inappropriate for.
I have never had to look hard for female company and no one would need to be a genius to figure out my type. All dark haired, very intelligent, perceptive and each with amazing eyes. Many times has an associate jabbed me in the ribs to suggest I was punching above my weight. It wasn't just the physical features that formed the pattern they were all independent, stable and very strong willed. Strangely enough the majority of them were born within a specific date range as well.
As my eyes shifted around the room I became conscience about how such an embarrassing facility, the one room wreckage that has become the reality of my life in recent times could host such beauty. As I look upon her the undersized electric heater which she lay in front of cast an unnatural orange glow over her dark features. The threadbare renters carpet left indentations on her elbows where only moments ago she had been resting. I feel the urge to apologise again for the lodgings but she has already insisted she doesn't mind.
Why is she here then? Am I just a muse? Someone to break the boredom? The almost dim witted smile on her face would suggest otherwise. Why me? How can some one so damaged, a twisted mess of past mistakes and unfulfilled potential be even a second thought to this supreme collection of desirable human characteristics. Tonight I can't put my finger on it. I can't figure out why I am lucky enough to be keeping such a high calibre of company. It is far more than I deserve. With my self doubts also comes my best behaviour. For usually I am the first to blur the boundaries but not tonight.

Note : many thanks for your kind words of encouragement on my last blip.