Down and Out

I took this yesterday (oops) of the London Eye all lit up on the walk back to Waterloo.

I was awake at 5:30am this morning, despite it getting on for 4am when I went to bed. I had to keep an eye on the time for dancing tomorrow. Must have slept funny as my neck was really killing me. I left it as long as I could before going home to get ready for dancing, which I managed in record time. I remembered I hardly ate yesterday as I was so busy, but I need to eat if I'm dancing so forced down a bowl of cereal.

My friends took me with them to dancing which was in Andover today. It was a really beautiful day so it was a bit of a shame to be stuck inside. I was so tired I kept yawning and really struggled, which was made worse by last night's memories popping into my head at inopportune moments. I began to feel really anxious, just like last night. I just wanted to get the hell out of there, which is so unlike me. I started thinking I could say I wasn't well enough to do it today, and go home, but then remembered I was car-less. I had to take myself away so I sat upstairs quietly by myself.

I really struggled against panic today quite honestly. I don't know how I got through the day. In spite of me, we actually did really well. I thought my dancing was utterly awful in the team match, yet we came 1st, when we usually come 2nd or 3rd. I wanted to give up and not do the supporting comps but couldn't let my partner down, so reluctantly we ploughed ahead. And wouldn't you know it, we did really well. We made the Waltz final, and came 5th. We made the semi-final in latin, so all in all we did well.

I was so relieved to get home. But once there the tears began to fall. I'm not exactly sure why. Perhaps the no sleep the night before didn't help. My mum as always was a sympathetic ear, but when you feel low, no one can really help. Little B had wanted us to play with his ball with him, but when he saw me sitting there crying, he jumped straight up on the sofa and curled up into my lap. Dogs are so intuitive, he's such a special boy :-)

Went home for a nice hot bath as it's really cold once the sun goes in. I could barely keep my eyes open so went to bed at 11pm.

I took my tablet. And I think I'm going to chuck that instruction leaflet in the bin! They say it takes 2-3 weeks to notice any difference, so hopefully I will soon feel better.