Premier Sin.
Following a spate of dog abductions in the area, the management of Newhaven's Premier Inn are tonight under investigation regarding the use of specially trained and steroid-pumped pigeons. One dog-owner claimed to have seen a pigeon swoop from the hotel's rooftop and grab his prize-winning Roumanian Spaniel.
Rodney Banal, the spokesman for Premier Inns, said, "We would admit to being soulless, but even we could not stoop this low."
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