It will never be easy.

No matter what your standard, to conquer the 26.2 mile distance requires immense determination and a huge physical effort (Steve Cram, 2000).

Today hurt a lot.
I knew it would as the last few months have been fairly stressful and I haven't done as much training as I would have hoped, although I still managed some really good 20 mile runs and I was hitting my targets on the track. However six months suffering from achilles tendinopathy didn't help and swollen glands, a tight chest and an abnormally high resting pulse rate two days before the marathon should have been enough to warn me.

However this was my first London marathon and I was determined to do it. This is the marathon that I've watched on TV since I was a little girl and dreamt of doing and today I got my chance. The weather, support (the crowds were unbelievable), camaraderie (I had a chat with an Elswick harrier, which was my old club, at nine miles) and organisation were superb and I will always try to remember these points rather than the pain I endured!

For the first time ever I walked during a race - at about 22miles I think, and then I went to the toilet which was about 200m off the course and then it became a massive mental battle with myself to actually complete the race. My legs and feet were hurting (although no blisters this time) but I forced myself to run the last couple of miles and when I saw the London Eye and then Buckingham Palace I forced my self to smile and enjoy the moment and I think I did.
I crossed the line, staggered to have my timing chip removed, received my medal (it's huge) and t-shirt (also huge), found somewhere to sit down...and then vomited. Lovely. Somehow my husband found me at the end and when I saw him I became quite emotional (this always seems to happen to me at the end of a marathon), we found a spot of grass in the park where I curled up on his coat and closed my eyes. I have no idea how long I lay there or how long he patiently sat with me but it felt nice not having to do anything. Then I thought of our kids and wanted to get back to see them (they were at my Mother-in-Law's house) and that gave me the motivation to move and stop feeling sorry for myself.

So I may have been disappointed with my performance and my time but it feels good to have been a part of something so huge and inspirational and to have finally completed the London Marathon. I also actually qualified with my time for next year but I won't be doing it as there are other things that I'd like to focus on before attempting another marathon.

Perhaps I'll finally get round to doing a photography course.