Swedish Hasbeens

I had a row with a man in a supermarket this morning during which I sarcastically apologised for challenging his fragile sense of masculinity. Then I mocked the fact that he was buying lemon squash. As a finale, I called him a douche. All this in front of Betsy and Al. Mother of the year! The woman at the till was from Russia and said to another customer, 'in my country we do not see things like this'. I was tempted to point out that what they do see is hardly better but I felt I had said enough as it wasn't even 9am.

My new Swedish Hasbeens arrived! They are loooovely! I just need a tiny speck of sun and I will bust them out and never take them off! I will clickety clack along the road on the wooden soles like Pippi Longstocking!

Hasbeens come in a box that says, 'Better Shoes For A Better World on the top. I think it's true. I will not call anyone a douche when I am wearing them.