Springtime sky opening

Every day more greens, whites and grey blues. Even without a lighting sunbeam the world over here adorns itself as dancing printanieres in unfolding plissees. This morning I started outside making some preliminary sketches and trying out different materials. My subject “over there” is rather complex and needs a translating into spatio-colourite structure, so to say. A cold wind blew through my hesitating fingers. But even after having dressed up warmly it became clear that this could not yet be the real painting day. That’s ok.

Though I don’t need to exclude it entirely, this slight withdrawal was not due to that notorious fear for the abyss of the total white emptiness of the canvas. It must be more than fifteen or twenty years ago now, that I started to do all kinds of painting exercises with finger paint, gouache, watercolours, acrylic, also ink. Just giving that “original child” safe room to play and discover itself.

A playful practical searching for loosening deep inner brakes and blocks to express myself without words, moving in colour, opening the emptiness or nothingness inside/outside, between the world and my soul. Also I learned from Mischa then when she came home from school with new inspiring works, techniques, forms. It is a long time ago. With the start of the new millennium I had to reenter full time work again as a lawyer. And did that for almost ten years. No time for art, poetry, the real things that make life meaningful, worthy and rich in value.

But nothing to regret. We are here now, free to live our creative longings, achings, with the means that are at our disposal here and now. And a heart that humms and sings. Rumbling through my musty stock of old drawing pens, pencils, crayons. Stumbling through portfolio’s full of past initiatives and dear memories. For this moment only a very few “things” will do: the paper, the brush-pen, the gouache colours, a mindfull heart tuning from the hara-sit and last but not least: a sky that opens itself longer than that one and only moment I can share with you...