Purple Elephant

Strange how a little, odd looking dog toy can bring back so many memories and emotions. It barely even looks like an elephant, but I have had a hard time allowing Corra (or Loki) to play with it. Not because I think it is adorable, but because it is attached to a very brief week in my life that has been hard to move on from. It belonged to a dog we named Kiwi, who we only had for a week. I still have very mixed emotions when I think back to her ...
Here's an attempt at telling that story ...
My uncle passed away very suddenly January of 2008. It really made me think about how little I live in the now and how I've been waiting to bring a dog home at exactly the right time, which of course, never happens. Mr. Badger and I decided to adopt a pup, and we found a sweet Border Collie/terrier mix (?) in March. We were approved and we headed up into Maine to pick her up. She was named Willhelmina (Willow for short), but we named her Kiwi. She was sweet, cuddly, and liked everyone (not overwhelmingly so). Unfortunately, tons of things were changing at work, and we were going through a huge merger and I couldn't take time off. So that was stressful. Our downstairs neighbors at the time apparently worked a night shift, so during the day, if Kiwi jumped around at all, they were banging on the ceiling and yelling. Mr. Badger and I were terrified to let her move in the house. Ultimately, the stress broke us, and we decided that we just weren't ready for a dog. But I was already so attached to her, she really had the temperament I was looking for. We drove her up to a temporary foster home about 4 hours away in Maine. It was the worst car ride of my life.

Of course we ended up adopting Loki a little over a year later and we later purchased ms. Corra, so I have my 2 awesome sauce dogs ... I just still felt so guilty and sad for having not been the home for our Kiwi.

I stumbled upon some actual closure regarding Kiwi a couple of years ago - as I was learning about pet photographers. I was going through a wonderful photographers blog, Li Ward of Fat Orange Cat Studio in Boston. I came across this post and just started bawling. It was Kiwi (though she was still named Willow) and clearly she had a loving home who had taken her for a photo shoot. Seeing her so loved really helped me move on. I still have twinges of guilt, but I know she ended up in an amazing home, and what more could I ask for? That little purple elephant is Corra's now. Kiwi may have chewed off the tail, but Corra finished the job <3