boring, boring, boring

It was on a Monday morning when....

I had a new front door fitted by a certain Home Improvement Company.

It didn't fit.
The fitter came to refit.
It still didn't fit.
Another fitter came
and fitted it
but knived the seal
and scratched much of door length lock strip.
Another fitter came, replaced the seal
and said he would return with a new lock strip.
He never did.
I couldn't take anymore.

A year later... the paint (special, unique to our company madam) began to peel.
An engineer came, on a Friday afternoon.
'That's not peeling, it's damaged.'
'I disagree, but whatever, it needs the special paint to fix it, and what about the metal strip?'
'Not on the docket.'
'And the fact that the door is catching?'
'Not on the docket.'
'So can you fix the paint?'
'Got no tools or paint in this van, it's empty, mine's being serviced.'
'Can I use conventional paint then?'
'No, it will damage it, invalidate the guarentee.'
'Can I go to the depot and buy some?'
'No, you'd need a docket.'
'From?'
'Same place you phoned to get them to get me to come.'
'You're joking?'
'Nope, but tell you what, I'll come back on Monday and fix everything.'
'Do I need to ring so they'll issue you with a docket to enable you to come?'
'Nah, you're all right, I'll be passing.'

He didn't pass or if he did, he didn't stop.

10,000 phonecalls
5,000 emails
2 screams
and eventually (darn it) tears down the phone...
'Do you mean to tell me that your company would prefer me to send all the documentation, dates and times of visits and phonecalls to 'Watchdog' than supply enough paint to cover one square centimetre on a door which still has 9 years' guarantee remaining?'
'I agree, it is very silly madam. We need to get another engineer to call.'
'NO! Just send the paint!'
'But it's a specialist job.'
'Applying paint?'
'Yes, Madam.'
'It didn't look specialist when the fourth fitter applied some having damaged the door when he fitted the spy hole.'
'Really?'
'Yes, really, come and see for yourself!'
'That won't be possible, Madam. The paint will be with you by December 3rd.'
'Just like that? You can sort it, 'Just like that.''
'Yes, Madam.'

Vesuvius has been building but wonder of wonders, this little bottle arrived through the post today.

I will live with the other issues.

All I want for Christmas is this company OUT OF MY LIFE FOR EVER!!!