Dear Mr Brains.

This is Brian Barton.

Available for weddings, bar mitzvah and house clearances.

I'm trying to encourage him to join Blip as he is a 'proper' artist. He has a badge and everything.

Anyway I'm not going to wax lyrical too much as Brian already has a huge fan base.

He did say I was his favourite stalker though. I think. I can't really hear him through the cellar door.

<that tramp juice on the table is not mine>