One Of Those Days

I had the day off today, which coincided with one of those days where grief just overwhelms and makes everything feel impossible. I spent the day being completely undecided in what I wanted to do, and after a morning dithering about, I went over to Mum's to catch up on the building work and have lunch. We popped out quickly so she could have a break from the house, but couldn't be away for too long as the builders need access. When I got back to mine, I tried to get it out my system a bit and had a big cry, before spending ages trying to clean up my bike and do some basic maintenance to get it road worthy again. Dad was a keen cyclist for all his life, so it seemed an appropriate thing to do. We're coming up to the two year anniversary now, and it's a difficult time of year, but I still haven't been able to work out why some days feel so dizzyingly hard and it's just too big a loss to be able to cope with. I feel the loss and miss Dad desperately every day, but I wonder why some days I am able to cope but others not. I'm sure it's the same for everyone who has suffered such a loss, and I guess it's all part of the grieving process. I'm going to treat myself to a bit of chocolate and an early night and hopefully tomorrow will be a little brighter.