Will you look at ME?

I have groomed myself for half an hour. My feathers were ruffled. I primped and preened. I AM A SWAN! I am a STAR! Did Cate Blamchett have this trouble getting attention on the red carpet at the Oscars? Did Sandra Bullock? Meryl Streep? Amy Adams? Judy Dench? So why do I? I have talent. I have beauty. Why is no-one paying attention? Ah, at last! The paparazzi have arrived on the bank. Here! Over here!