The Bridge That Wasn't There

Somewhere near this spot on 25 September 1066 a grim battle was fought between Norse invaders led by King Harald Hardrada, aided and abetted by the English king's treacherous brother, Tostig, and the English army led by King Harold. During the battle, legend has it, a single Norse warrior of fearsome size and strength held the then-wooden bridge single-handed against the English until an enterprising private sneaked under the bridge with his spear, with which he proceeded to give his enemy a terminal proctological procedure, accidentally inventing the kebab in the process. The English won the day, but lost another impromptu home fixture, this time to the Normans, three weeks later.

Actually, in 1066 not only was there not a bridge here, there wasn't even a settlement, but, just like UKIP, why let facts get in the way of a good yarn?